Why Is This News: Katy Perry vs. Islam

*sigh*. This is the first time that I’m tired of a story and I haven’t even started ranting about it. The only reason I’m even talking about this is because it is the perfect story for me. Everything about this story is utterly ridiculous. At no point in my life would I have thought I’d see “Katy Perry” and “Islam” in the same sentence. It’s like every pronoun in this story was an ad lib. The only good thing about this story is that it gave me an excuse to do a Google Image search for “Katy Perry.” That said, I have a lot to talk about, so let’s get into this.

When I first read that Katy Perry was in the midst of controversy, I thought, “What? Did she make yet another music video where stuff comes out of her bra?” “Did she use cute word play to come up with a dumb euphemism for sex?” Nope. She hurt Islam’s feelings.

For those who aren’t familiar with the story, basically, Katy Perry used the force and turned a dude to sand in a music video. You can’t see the controversy? Well the guy was wearing a necklace that had “Allah” written on it. Seriously. She shoots lightening out of her hands (which, by the way, I’m pretty sure makes her a Sith), and turns a guy to dust. They weren’t upset about that. They are upset because his necklace said “Allah” on it.

Let’s start off with the obvious. It’s Katy fucking Perry. Who the fuck cares what she thinks? It’s not like the Pope jizzed into a Qu’ran. I mean, she’s not exactly known as a theologian. I can’t imagine there are lots of priests and imams waiting around with bated breath to learn her opinions on religious topics. She’s famous for having big tits and a highly sexualized public image. The only time anyone thinks of her is when women want to know when her next song is coming out, of when guys ask if she’s done porn yet. (Not yet, by the way. I checked.) She’s not at all important.

Besides, I doubt Katy Perry is smart enough to be deliberately provocative. Marilyn Manson IS smart enough to provoke people intentionally. When he came out with the cover of Holywood, he wanted to point out how gruesome the crucifixion was, and how it shouldn’t be a symbol for hope. Ironically, just like Katy Perry’s scenario, Christians were offended that Manson would mock their deity.

Side rant: Offense is taken, not given. If something offends you, that’s your problem. Not anyone else’s. Maybe try getting thicker skin and not taking life so seriously. Contrary to your own opinion, the world does not revolve around you. Most people disagree with you on various topics. Crying about being offended does nothing to help your cause. If you think someone is wrong, prove it. Don’t claim the victim role.

Anyway, Katy Perry is an attention whore who likes guys to notice her. That’s from whence she derives her power. In no universe do I think Katy Perry is capable of the forethought required to instigate this type of stuff. Plus, most music videos are created by studio execs, not the artist themselves.

Now to Islam. Just when I think I’ve run out of reasons to complain about religion, I get sucked back in. Look. I know how you really want to portray your religion as one of peace, but no matter how many times you make that claim, until you prove it, you’re violent. You’re getting bent out of shape because of a MUSIC VIDEO. Just like you freaked the fuck out when Rushdie wrote the Satanic Verses. At least this time, you haven’t issued a fatwa. Well not yet, at least. This is why you need to encourage masturbation. It really helps calm you down.

If a necklace angers Allah, let him do something about it. He has flying horses, so surely he could smite Katy Perry, right? How about you worry about the rampant pedophilia, sexism, and anger issues in you’re silly cult, and let Allah worry about his precious feelings. Same goes with “depictions” of your prophet. If your god is all powerful, he shouldn’t need his fan club to intervene on his behalf.

From a moral stance, the argument could be made that much of Katy Perry’s work is offensive. I mean, in this same music video, there are cat people dancing on stripper poles. But no one is complaining about that. How could they? There’s a necklace to worry about.

In the end, Katy Perry capitulated and edited the video to remove the necklace. So much for freedom of expression.