Psychological Denial

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a passion for psychology. I would have become a doctor, except that I suck at math, and never took the SATs so I couldn’t get into a good school. Anyway, I still love to read about the mind and am amazed by the huge number of people who refuse to accept psychology.

If you broke your arm, you’d go to a doctor. Why not go to a doctor, if you have a mental illness? You go to a dentist for preventative care. Why don’t you go to therapy for preventative care? The problem is that people see their body as a separate part of them from their mind. The mind is a symbol of their sense of self. If something happens to their body, they get it fixed. If something happens to their mind, they feel like they are broken as a person and are permanently damaged. If they sprain their arm, they say, “my arm is sprained”. If they are depressed, they say, “I’m depressed”.

I often get into arguments because I see patterns… which is what smart people do. If you were to go to a doctor, with a set of symptoms, the doctor would diagnose you with a particular illness. But when I used that same logic with the mind, then I’m jumping to conclusions and using that “pop psychology mumbo jumbo”. People react to certain stimuli in certain ways. FACT. This is not a theory. This is not open to debate. If every spring, you get a stuffy nose, and a headache, you have allergies.

It’s the same thing with psychology. If you are the victim of certain types of abuse as a child, you will react a certain way as an adult. If you pop out a child, and the father leaves, don’t get mad at me when I’m not at all surprised that your dad left you. PATTERNS.

The other thing people hate about me, is when I predict their relationships based on their parents. If your dad was an alcoholic, OF COURSE you’re going to hook up with an addict. Your dad was your primary role model for what a mate should be. The good and the bad.

Now, I’m not saying that you are predestined to turn out a certain way based on your childhood. I’m saying that you are going to react in a predictable way. So, if you don’t want to end up like your parents, you have to recognize that your parents had flaws, recognize that you picked some of those flaws up yourself, and then do something about it.

This is where most people stop. This would require admitting to having a flaw. Worse yet, a flaw they might actually be able to change, if they went to therapy or got on meds. Many people don’t want to do that. So here comes the denial.

“Everyone has a messed up family.” “There are people who had it a lot worse than I did.” “My will power will overcome it.”

Bull fucking shit. That’s not how humans work. If it is, why are you the way you are? Why didn’t your parents use their will power? What about their parents? What makes you think you can “hope” your way to a healthy life?

Another problem is that psychology has been demonized for almost 100 years. Going to therapy is seen as a sign of weakness. Yet, my aforementioned example of going to the dentist, is seen as just taking care of yourself. Why? Why are they different? Why can’t taking care of yourself include your mental health?

Maybe it’s just fear. They don’t want to go to therapy because they will have to confront the demons that they have locked away for decades. It seems too like too much to handle. So they just deny they have the problems and go on with their day. Blissfully ignorant.