Review: LOST

This contains a detailed analysis of Lost in general and the final episode in particular. If you have not seen the episode, and don’t want me to spoil the ending, read no further.

Moving on, WHAT THE FUCK. Seriously. Now, I didn’t start watching until after the 4th season. I quickly caught up and watched the first four seasons in a month. I became obsessed. It wasn’t the smoke monster. It wasn’t the crash. It wasn’t even the characters, though they were memorable and after a while I did care what happened to them. None of that really got me hooked though. It was the mythology. The idea that there was some sort of deeper meaning to it all. I came from obsessing about the Matrix, which had all these secret clues that would lead to the bigger picture. As I did with the Matrix, I began reading forums and blogs about Lost. I read theories. The theories ranged from logical to insane to just flat out stupid. People thought of everything from aliens to Egyptian gods. Some said they were all dead. Others said it was all a dream. I read spoilers. I needed to know what the big picture was. Even if they didn’t explain what the island was, I needed to know the end game. I learned that there were a lot of people like me.

Then season five came. The time travel season. That’s when most viewers left the show. It became too sci fi for them. I loved it. It was such a great story telling technique to me. Lost dug it’s claws further into my mind and the obsession worsened. Then season five ended with a black text on white background “LOST” instead of the opposite as every other episode in the series. BOOM. Something important was going to happen. We were at the final season. Big details were  going to be revealed. We were finally going to figure it out. It would finally make sense. We were less than 20 hours away from the end. I knew that I wouldn’t have ALL the answers, but I hoped we would get SOME answers. At least the big questions. Who made the statue? Who found the island? How did they know they had to protect it? Why can some people give birth on the island and other not?

I counted down the months, then the weeks, then the days, then the hours until the season six premier. I knew very little from spoilers. I knew that there would be an alternate timeline of the plane NOT crashing. I knew we would see a lot of former cast members. Many of whom were dead. I assumed that there would be two timelines. One, if the bomb worked and the plane never crashed. The other, if the bomb didn’t work, and they were stuck on the island. The premier came and so far it seemed I was right. But wait. Why is Desmond on the plane? My theory was flawed somehow.

Season six proceeded by telling me nothing new. Then something happened. Desmond and Charlies met and saw flashes of the other time line. Hmm. What does that mean? We  continued through season six learning NOTHING. The Man in Black fell into the light and became the smoke monster. We didn’t learn his name. We didn’t learn why he turned into smoke. All we learned was the location. But really, I had no one to blame but myself. They spent 5 seasons not answering questions, so why would I expect anything else?

Finally it’s the final episode. We would find out the end game. So are you ready for it? I was. I had a special island themed marathon the day before to get me in the mood. I even tried to get the day off of work to watch it. The final episode was lame. It felt rushed. Like if they had spent the whole season STEADILY getting the castaways to remember the other time line, it would have been fine. Instead they took the worst parts of the last episodes of Seinfeld and the Sopranos, raped them, pissed on their memories, violated them again, and then sent it to final editing. So then Jack remembers the island and his dad appears. Ok. His dad has always played an odd role. He acted as if he knew something. Here comes the explanation.

Everything in the first 5 seasons was real. The island was real. The flash forwards were real. The flash backs were real. The time travel was real. The flash sideways? That was not. That was limbo, not the island. They had to meet there, before they could “move on”. Fuck. I knew it. They would walk into a door of light. Wait for it… yup. There it is. Everyone smiles. They fade into light. On the island Jack closes his eyes.

LOST.

The fuck does that mean? I wasted so much time on this show hoping it meant something, and all I got was this stupid DHARMA t-shirt. God I’m so aggravated.