I Need to Come to Power

I need to come to power. I have so many great ideas that I need to implement in order to bring the world into my utopia. My Christopia, if you will.

Ok. First of all, homeschooling should be illegal. Unless you have a degree in education, you have no business pretending to be a teacher. You wouldn’t let the janitor teach the class, would you? Well, unless the class was How to Clean 101.

Next, when I come to power, I am going to create a test. Similar to IQ tests, but focused on common sense, logic, and reason. I don’t care if you disagree with me, as long as you have some fucking logic and proof behind your opinion. Everyone will take this test. Anyone who passes this test will get to stay. Everyone else will be deported. Maybe to Canada.

I am tired of these waste of space people consuming my resources. Why are these people allowed to eat, or use my energy, or worst of all vote? If you don’t contribute, you don’t get the benefits. It’s pure capitalism. Think about how wonderful this world will be if people actually tried to make life better? That should be rewarded. Those who just sit in their trailers watching Jerry Springer on their 13 inch TVs with they hands in their boxers and a 12 pack of Bud Light within arm length do not belong in the civilized world.

Religion. Fuck religion. The only thing that Marx said that I agree with was when he said that religion was the opiate of the masses. It dulls your reason, blinds you from facts and logic. It significantly increases the concepts of “them versus us”. How does this help society? I don’t want violent people in my country fighting people because they worship a different imaginary man in the sky. At the same time I don’t want a bunch of people that believe and follow mystical teachings without thinking about them. I’m so tired of the excuse, “well that is how I was raised”. So? Think for yourself. Does your parent’s insanity hold up to logic? Do you agree with everything your parents said? They are also the same people that told you about Santa and the Tooth Fairy.

Criminals. We really need to reevaluate how we handle crime. Theft is a minor crime. Rape is a major crime. Why are they punished the same way? A rapist should be raped. A thief should go to jail. I suggest that the victim of a major crime be able to dictate the punishment of their attacker. Perhaps cigarette burns to the scrotum if they rape you? Theft doesn’t hurt anyone, really. Not in the same way as molestation or murder.

Child molesters should be drug into the street and shot. Flat out. No discussion. There is no reason to fill up our prisons. Just remove them from the equation. Boom. I just solved our over population problem.