How I Would Fix the Economy

The economy has been in the news almost constantly for the last few years, but no one seems to know what to do about it. It’s like asking a man what a woman wants. We have no clue. Magic seems to be the leading theory, though some believe that science will one day shed some light on the subject.

Back to the economy, though. Lewis Black had a joke once about how the best way to fix the economy was to build a “big fucking thing”. I think he was right. We need to build a light rail type of system from coast to coast. We’ll start with an “X” shape that goes from LA to New York, Seattle to Miami, and meet in Omaha. We’ll borrow the money to build it (I mean we borrow the money anyway). This will be a huge project, and will need many many many people to build it. Unemployment goes down.

The formerly unemployed now have a decent paycheck. They use this money to feed their families and pay their bills. Personal debt goes down… or up. Depending on how you look at it. This stimulates the economy.

Finally, we will have a public transportation system like Europe. We charge money for using the “Christram” which eventually, though it will take a while, will pay off the investment money. Plus this will reduce the numbers of cars on the roads, which helps the environment.

Then we expand the project. Now let’s add a box shape. Seattle to New York. New York to Miami. Miami to LA. LA back to Seattle. More workers. More jobs. More routes. More people using it. Less unemployment. Better Economy. Less pollution.

I win.