Halloween Cultural Appropriation

Every year for Halloween, we in America are gifted with two guaranteed news stories. The first, is that people will be outraged over a “sexy (insert job here)” costume. My favorite is the Sexy Ebola Nurse from a few years ago. The other is that people will be outraged over a racist costume. This year’s winner is Moana.

Here’s what annoys me about the whole cultural appropriation argument. Why is it that only white people are the racists? You never hear about an black guy wearing a sombrero and causing an uproar. Why is it that when white people come up with something, and that is used by non white people, it’s fine, but if it goes the other way around, then that is cultural appropriation? My argument isn’t that white should be a protected culture. I don’t give a fuck. I just hate double standards, and am asking for fairness.

I have a friend who tried to explain it to me. Basically the idea is that since I’m white, I have an identity, and if you’re black, that identity has been either stripped or modified. Now “black” is equated with crime, rather than whichever African tribe your ancestors came from. Then she said that since I’m white, I can’t understand it. She is cute, so I didn’t press the issue. Maybe she’s right. I really don’t understand how dressing like a character steals from a culture. If anything, it’s a crime like internet piracy. Is it really stealing, if you’re just making a copy? It’s not like once a white girl dresses as Moana, the Polynesian culture vanishes.

Wait. Maybe that’s what happened to Atlantis.

I’m a nerd. I’m part of nerd culture. Most of nerd culture relies on computers and the internet. The internet was invented by white people. So if I see a brotha using the internet, does that mean he’s stealing my cultural identity? No. Of course not. Because I’m white.

There is a difference between dressing up as your favorite character, and dressing as a culture. Blackface is racist, because you are dressing up as “a black person”. It defaults to stereotypes. The entire costume is based on hyperbolic extremes. Dressing up as Moana is not racist, because the girl was dressing up as a made up person who just happened to be Polynesian.

By the way, I love it that liberals were so thrilled when we finally had a female cartoon character who didn’t rely on men. Finally, young girls could aspire to greatness on their own and have someone to whom they could look up. Then when these little girls do exactly that, then it’s racist. Talk about mixed messages.

“Oh Suzy, you’re white, so you  are only allowed to want to be a white hero.” How is THAT not racist? Are black kids allowed to dress up as white superheros? Sure. No one cares. And that’s the correct response. If a white girl wants to be Storm from the X-Men, then by all means, put on the white wig, the silly costume (no blackface), and pretend to shoot lighting bolts at people. Storm is called “storm” because her power is to control weather. Yes, she is from Africa, but she’s not called “Black Storm”. Her main characteristic, and the one people want to imitate, is the controlling the weather part.

Same with every black or Latino or Asian boy who dressed up as Spiderman. It’s the spider webs that they like, not the whiteness. Same with Moana. They are dressing up as a strong girl who solves problems and saved the day on their own.

Children are not born racist. That’s a learned trait. Here we have an opportunity to teach children to admire and accept other cultures. If a little girl looks up to Moana as a strong role model, and in the process learns about Polynesian culture, isn’t that a good thing? It’s way better than looking up to some vapid celebrity.

I don’t know if it’s white guilt gone crazy, or what. There is no way that Blazing Saddles could ever be made today. The simple overuse of the N word itself would stop that. But you know what racist part wouldn’t ever be noticed? A black guy dressed as a cowboy. That’s stealing from white culture. And not only was he dressed as a cowboy, but he was in law enforcement? Ha! That’s crazy speak.

Everyone should be able to dress as whatever characters they want. No one accuses crossdressers of gender appropriation. Like I said, dressing as a character is one thing. Dressing as a race is another. Seems like a pretty clear line there.

Racism is treating people differently based on their race. So isn’t telling a white person who they can dress as based solely on their race… racist? Like, that’s the definition. Liberals love to harass any parent who raises their child with strict gender roles. Boys should be allowed to play with dolls. Girls should be able to like cars. I agree with both of those things. I’m all for choice. But then when it comes to race, then the liberal sphincters shrink to the size of my dick.

Suddenly white people have all sorts of loosely defined boundaries that move day to day. If I’m white, and I’m only allowed to dress up as white people, does it matter what kind of white people? I’m Irish. Can I dress up as a French person? Like, I love Alexandre Dumas, and weigh as much as him. Can I dye my hair and shave off my beard and be Alexandre Dumas, or is that stealing from French culture? No one seems to have a problem with that, because French is white. Steal from it all you want. You drink wine? RACIST. Oh. White people wine. That’s fine, then. You like pasta? RACIST. Oh. Italy is white. Proceed. Want some white Parmesan cheese?

I think intent should be important, too. Making a joke out of a race or culture is immoral. Wanting to be a character who is a different race or culture is not. Dressing up as “bumbling honky” is wrong. Dressing up as “Joe Dirt” is not. Because he’s white. And because he’s a character, not a race.

Eh what does it matter. I’m white, so I’m not allowed to have an opinion on race, and if I do, it must conform to the SJW narrative, or I’m a bigot.