Chris’ Cooking Corner: Chicken Taco Gringitos

Today, I’m starting a new segment on my site, where I show you how to make easy meals for cheap. The first entry is my signature dish, Chicken Taco Gringitos*. This should take about half an hour, and cost $30. It will make about 8 tacos. You will need:

• 2 lbs of boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 1 seasoning packet. Or you can make your own. I’ve made my own with red peppers, paprika, chives, and whatever other spices I had left over. The seasoning packet is so much easier.
• 1 bag of Mexican cheese
• 1 can of diced olives
• 1 container of sour cream
• 1 package of tortilla shells
• Various vegetables if you want. I don’t like vegitables, but I’m sure some of you freaks do.
• 1 fifth of tequila

Note: I used to chop the chicken into chunks. I have since switched to shredded chicken, because it’s easier to work with and soaks up the seasoning better. If you insist on using chunks, just skip the part about boiling the chicken. Cut the pink chicken breasts into cubes, and put them in the frying pan. You’ll have to cook the chicken until it starts to brown.

First, take a shot of tequila. Next wash the chicken breasts. Don’t use soap. Just rinse the chicken until the slime is gone. Then put it in a pot. Fill the pot with water so that the chicken is submerged. Bring to a boil. Keep boiling until the chicken is white throughout. So make a cut in the middle, and if you still see pink, let it boil some more. Meanwhile, grab a frying pan and put just a little bit of cooking oil in it. Now’s a good time to take another shot.

Get a plate and two forks. Once the chicken is completely white inside, put a chicken breast on the plate. Use one fork to hold it in place and the other fork to claw at the chicken. Rip at it until you get the chicken shredded to the size you want. I recommend doing one breast at a time, so you have room on the plate. Put the shredded chicken into the frying pan (but don’t turn it on yet). Repeat until all of the chicken is shredded and in the frying pan. Take a shot to give your wrists a rest from the shredding.

Pour the seasoning packet into a bowl. Add two cups of water. Mix until the packet is fully mixed. You don’t want any “dry” seasoning clumps. Use a fork. It’s easier. Add the seasoned water to the frying pan, and turn the stove on to high. Mix the chicken with the seasoning so that the chicken looks “redish”.

Now, here’s my secret. Add a handful of the cheese to the frying pan and mix it in. While the chicken is stewing in the seasoning, it will also melt the cheese. Take a shot while you wait.

Let it stew for about ten minutes. Now it’s ready to serve. Prepare the tortilla shells with sour cream, olives, and whatever vegetables you want. Add chicken. Take another shot of tequilla, and consume the tacos.

There you go. My signature Chicken Taco Gringitos.

*Gringitos: Mexican slang for “little white person”. I use this word to describe the tacos, because I am very very white, and as such, can’t handle spicy foods. Yet I love Mexican food. Go figure.