Minirant: Cat for Rent

I have decided that my feline roommate/overlord is now old enough to work to help pay the bills. I am offering her services to you.

Skills include, but are not limited to:

She is trained to hunt all manner of imaginary creatures. The trolls that live in my couch are, judging by the constant clawing, hiding in fear. The catch is that she can’t SEE them so just runs around attacking randomly.

She is a massage therapist. Also petting her belly teaches hand/eye co-ordination as well as lowers both of your stress levels. Her purring is also soothing.

She is a very effective alarm, provided that you want to wake up whenever she is lonely.

She will keep your seat/bed warm though you must wait until she leaves in order to actually benefit from the heat.

Costs depend on which of her many skills you wish to utilize. She is available whenever I want to sleep.