Bullies

Lately, I’ve been getting tired of hearing myself type about religion. So I asked people for ideas for rant topics. One person mentioned bullying in school. Another mentioned Mike Jeffries, the CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch, who said he didn’t want fat people wearing his clothes. Now at first, I was going to do separate posts, but I realized that Jeffries is kind of a bully.

According to Wikipedia, “Bullying is the use of force or coercion to abuse or intimidate others. The behavior can be habitual and involve an imbalance of social or physical power. It can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion and may be directed repeatedly towards particular victims, perhaps on grounds of race, religion, gender, sexuality, or ability.”

Bullying has been part of our species since the dawn of time. The strongest pick on the weakest. Every single one of us has experienced being a bully and being the victim of bullying. I’m not saying it’s right. I’m saying it’s that common.

The word “bully” actually used to be a positive term of endearment in the 16th Century, but by the 18th century, it had the negative connotation it has now. By this century, it had become such a problem, that activist have started anti-bullying campaigns.

It starts in childhood and, as Mr. Jeffries shows, lasts through adulthood. What causes it? Most studies have shown that bullying is a way of hiding insecurity and shame. Rather than let people see their own flaws, the bully will distract their peers by attacking (emotionally and/or physically) others. That way, the “audience” sees a bully, rather than someone dealing with their own emotional pain. Obviously, depressed and aggressive personalities tend to manifest in bullying.

The odd part, is that bullies often find themselves in the top tier of the social ladder. I think this is because we are glorified mammals and our antique brains still associate brute strength with dominance. So being a huge dick makes people think you have a huge one.

This need to dominate others becomes a behavior rooted deep in the person’s sense of self. They feel that without being in charge, they are broken. They would return to the feelings of shame and insecurity from childhood. How do they remain in charge? By bullying anyone who gets in their way.

In many ways, this personality is very similar to the celebrity personality. They crave attention. It doesn’t matter if that attention is positive or negative. The point is they are being noticed. But what about the victims? Often the humiliation is so bad that the result is suicide and violence. You can only take so much before you break. Columbine is a tragic, though all too common, example of this.

So what’s the solution? This is a tough one. Since bullies like the attention, we have to stop giving it to them. Instead of immortalizing them in the news, we need to quickly punish them, show them that the behavior is not tolerated and move on. Since they are treated almost as alpha males, victims need to use the perfect resource. Someone bigger, so to speak. If the bully is a 6th grader, get an 8th grader to protect you. If the bully is a supervisor get a manager. No matter how exalted the bully may be, there’s always someone above them. This isn’t cowardice. It’s taking action. And until victims feel comfortable seeking help, parents/bosses/anyone who can help, needs to volunteer the help. It also helps to not show fear. Bullies are using the animalistic parts of their brain. They are feral. They see fear and attack. So if you don’t act like you’re afraid of them (even if you are) they will eventually go away and find another target.

Now on to Mr. Jeffries. He’s just a bully. I mean look at him. He is one ugly motherfucker. I mean seriously. He looks like a plastic surgeon got drunk, broke into the botox cabinet and went to town on a horse’s face. It’s not really about not liking fat people. It’s not about marketing his product to particular people…

Side rant: Have you ever seen Abercrombie clothes? It’s garbage. It’s low quality and over priced. It’s flimsy as fuck. You’re just paying for the name.

… Anyway, it’s about feeling insecure. He surrounds himself with “pretty” people so that everyone thinks he belongs there. He’s the type of guy that would drive a large truck just to show how macho he is. (there you go, Angie) And just like any other bully, he likes the attention. Sure he’s painting himself as a pompous prick. But I’ve mentioned his name in this article how many times? I’ve had to type out the ridiculously long and hard to spell name of his company twice. Let alone all the other stories in the news about him right now. Sure we hate him. But he’s laughing all the way to the bank.

So just like any other bully, we have to find someone bigger to fight back. Like fat people. I encourage fat people to walk into his stores and try on the smallest clothes you can find. Rip them up, leave them in the changing room, and walk out. But in all seriousness, find a better store. It’s just a name. Find clothes that fit well and have a reasonable price. He’s mocking you for being fat. I’m mocking you for being idiot consumers.

In the end, bullies will be here forever. All we can do is try to avoid them and offer consequences. Teachers and parents need to stand up for kids and put their foot down every time a bully acts out. And they need to punish the bully. Bosses need to control bully employees. Perhaps even fire them. There need to be consequences. Finally, we need to evolve. We really do. Let’s value personality rather than brute strength. Let’s value intelligence instead of beauty. Let’s value integrity and honesty, instead of hostility. Let’s value product quality over brand association.